(v.):

fail to notice, hear or understand

fail to hit, reach, or come into contact with

fail to include someone or something

notice the loss of or absence of someone or something

• feel regret or sadness at no longer being able to enjoy the presence of:she misses all her old friends.

• feel regret or sadness at no longer being able to go to, do, or have: I still miss France and I wish I could go back.

_______

well, all what written in the dictionary is so true.

last year, I missed CannY, I regretted so much, I promised I would compensate myself a CannY next year. But now, I’m still gonna miss it one more time. And this time, I have no courage to wish me another.

miss it once, miss it forever

I’ve missed lots of things in my life. Opportunities, friends, choices, gifts. I wasted so much but I didn’t realize at that moment. Or I did, but some external forces from family, friends changed my mind and I missed them.

miss and miss

let them go and regret

constantly, people walk in my life, and leave. constantly, eventually, immediately, suddenly,… all of that. some make a better me. some change me in a way my mom and bro would say ‘they deteriorated you’ or ‘you learned bad things so fast, just like you can inhale them and exhale all your good ones’.

but whatever occurs between me and those people, they all leave me with some marks. some are love feeding my good vibes, some are pains turning to scars. without some people, I feel overwhelmingly sad and sometimes depressed. however, some absences are blessing.

.

I’ve been going through 2 longest sad absences (which I’ve spent lots of my limited grey cells and nerve)  I’ve ever been in my life. 1 costed me 1 year of loving, the other took 1 month of expecting. I thought I did pass all of them, buried them in my stuffy memories.

but no.

it turns out that marks are invisibly visible. I still toss and turn a lot.

it turns out that I still miss it, a lot.

 

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